Dethroning Gavin Merisque
by TheCaptainHP
Summary: Since I was 11 years old, I've had a plan for how my seventh year was going to go. I would have a wonderful, perfect boyfriend. Lots of snogging would be involved. Gavin Merisque would be a mere distant memory, not an everyday pestilence. About that...
1. Chapter 1

Since I was 11 years old, I've had a plan for how my seventh year was going to go.

(1) I would have a wonderful, perfect boyfriend. Lots of snogging would be involved. [I had a dirty mind from a young age, thanks to my cousin Fred.] (2) I would be Head Girl. (3) I would be captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. [I play Beater with my cousin Fred.] (4) I would have perfect relationships with both of my sisters. (5) Gavin Merisque would be a mere distant memory, not an everyday pestilence.

About that plan… You see, my first day as a seventh year was today.

(1) No boyfriend. As in… ever. I may just have to become a nun. (2) Well, this one's come true. Dad was so proud of me. (3) Haha. No. (4) My big sister Molly has been driving me bloody insane. She's engaged, and is getting married next summer. But you'd think it was tomorrow. She is suffering from a major case of the Bridezillas. And, it's hard to have a perfect relationship with anyone when they're making you wear a dress that makes you look like a ray of sunshine and has a billion straps that dig into your shoulders. And my baby sister Abby…

She had her tongue down Gavin Merisque's throat. So there goes #4 and #5. And about #2…. Guess who's Head Boy?

"Hey!" I bellowed. "Merisque! Get your filthy paws off my baby sister!"

He pulled away, leering at me. For someone who is treated as if he is God's Gift to Women, you think he'd be cuter. Gavin looks like a stoat… Or some other small weasel type animal. I may be a Weasley, but I don't find that attractive at all. He has black hair, and black squinty eyes. Even scarier, he is taller than me. Me! Lucy Weasley, who is about 180 centimeters. I think he has an elephant for a mother. How an elephant and a stout procreated, don't ask me.

"Luc!" Abby yelped. Holy blue. She had lipstick smeared all over her chin. Lipstick! She's 15! What 15 year old wears lipstick?

Of course… I did use eyeliner when I was 5 to draw a picture of my dream house once. Mum wasn't too happy about that.

Stoutphant raised his eyebrows. "I don't think being 2 years younger makes Abigail your baby sister."

Being mature and otherwise superior, I ignored him and pulled Abby aside. "What are you doing?" I hissed. "You might as well find a squirrel to snog!"

My baby sister glared at me. What! Kids these days… No respect for their elders. "You may find it impossible to believe, but I actually like Gavin."

"How could you like him? He's a stout!"

Abby can look rather menacing. I saw a first year cower when they caught sight of her face. "I don't know what your problem with Gavin Merisque is, but get over it. He's my boyfriend."

Did she? No. She couldn't have. "B-Boyfriend?" My baby sister is dating before me. In the olden days if that happened, I'd be sent to a convent, yes? I was right! I am a nun in disguise.

"Yes. I'm a big girl now. So… go get yourself one Lucy." She shooed me away. My baby sister shooed me away!

I am so writing to Mum and Dad. Dad will hunt Gavin down. It will be the Spanish Inquisition Part II. He'll never be quite the same upstairs. Mess with Abby, and you have to go through me first!

Wait. I already sent my owl Cornelius out. Dad insists all our pets are named after either a headmaster, minister, or some Ministry of Magic employee. So much for that plan.

But what's the good in being a Weasley if you don't employ your numerous cousins for help once in a while? I have more than enough boy cousins to beat up Gavin for me. Fred for starters. Being his favorite cousin, he owes me. Then there's… James, Albus, Hugo, Louise. That's it? Only 5? Damn. But that will probably be enough.

But James is friends with Gavin. Plus he's a 6th year and shorter than the World's Largest Stout. And Albus is a lover not a fighter. He's not really a lover either. Same with Hugo. Useless little cousins… Louise is even worse. He's a total pansy.

Holy blue! All I have to work with is Freddie.

But that's okay. Because no matter what, I have to take Gavin Merisque down.


	2. Chapter 2

"You have problems." Damn whatever Headmaster that decided Head Boy and Girl should do all patrolling together.

"_I_ have problems? I'm sorry, maybe I heard you wrong." Stupid, stupid Stoat Boy. Whose he to say I have problems?

Gavin shook his head, messing with his crown as I call it. See, Stoat Boy has this bright yellow knit cap that is practically part of his scalp. It has smiley faces on it and makes him look like a 5 year old bafoon.

"So… Explain to me what I did to you."

"Excusez- moi?" I questioned, arching my eyebrows.

"Why do you hate me so much?"

I shrugged. "Mostly it has to do with the fact that you exist. Then I see your face and even stronger feeling of loathing creeps in."

He scowled at me. Attractive.

"You want a list? Okay, most recent to least. Number 1," I ticked it off on my fingers, "You are poisoning my sister with your saliva. Number 2, you're head boy. Number 3, you're Quidditch captain, a position that was supposed to be mine. Number 4, Kingsley was never quite the same after you 'accidentally' stepped on his tail last year. Number 5-"

"Is this going to take a while?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"You asked."

Gavin frowned. "I didn't think you were seriously going to answer me."

Merlin, if only I didn't have to patrol with him. I could be back in my room right now plotting. Maybe I could freak him out enough to give up the position of Head Boy…

Or I could be practicing Quidditch right now. If I was utterly amazing, maybe Professor Longbottom would demote Gavin and make me captain. Even better, maybe he would get so mad that he'd quit the team entirely! Although… I must admit he is not the most horrible Keeper in existence. But there must be a better Gryffindor!

"You're particularly frightening when you have that look on your face." Stoatie was staring at me.

"What look?" I wrinkled my nose and crossed my eyes.

"The one where you look like you're a little kid in a candy store that wants to kill everyone."

Arse hole!

"You'll be the first victim." I muttered to myself.

He smirked. "Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity."

"Yeah well… You know what?" I retorted, my arms crossed in front of my chest. I like to think of this as my bad-ass Auror pose.

Gavin looked at me lazily. "What?"

"Your mum!"

I made him speechless. He shook his head. "How you manage to function, I don't understand…"

"Shut it. I know you're just utterly dazzled by my wit and beauty."

He grabbed a chunk of my hair. "If I liked the color yellow this much, I'd be a Hufflepuff." Gavin dropped it.

Insulting! Who would call my hair yellow? I prefer to think of it as honey colored. Bees like hovering around me.

"I'm not talking to you!" I announced.

Gavin didn't reply.

It was the first match of the season. Gryffindor versus the 'Puffs. No challenge. No one even remembered the last time they'd won the Cup, except the 'Puffs themselves.

I smacked my bat against the palm of my hand, waiting for the game to come to a start.

"You've got that look." Freddie called.

What's up with this? "What look?"

Freddie flew back a little. "The one where you look like you're a little kid in a candy store that wants to kill everyone. And it's directed towards Our Lord Captain."

"Seriously? You're the second person to say that."

My cousin looked at me as if questioning if I was joking or not. "Everyone calls it that. You get that look at least once a day. Even more when Our Lord is around. We'd call it love, but since you try and decapitate him every time we're on the pitch that throws a wrench in it."

"WEASLEYS!" Our Lord Captain Stoat Merisque screamed. "Get your head in the game."

Oh hey! We'd started. On cue, a Bludger went flying towards the two of us. Fred gave it a good whack, and it knocked a 'Puff off his broom. He managed to grab onto it.

"Must be desperate. Letting first years on the team." I said to myself.

Freddie crossed his eyes. In our language that meant I was being stupid. "Lu, don't talk wubbish. That's Albus."

Cousin Albus? Failure to the House of Weasley-Potter? Blimey. He was a third year at least.

"What does Aunt Ginny feed him?" I gasped. Little Al turned to glare at us. Smiling, I waved at him. "Did you see that?"

Freddie raised his eyebrows. "The little bugger gave you the happy finger!"

"WEASLEYS! DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOU OFF THE TEAM!" O.L.C.S.M. bellowed. Merlin. His face was about as red as the tell tale Weasley hair.

We turned around. "Merisque!" said my cousin. "Stop screaming. It's bad for your blood pressure."

"Yes!" I chimed in. "Wouldn't want you to drop dead on the pitch."

To get him to be quiet, we flew around the pitch and almost knocked a couple more 'Puffs off their brooms. The score was 100-0.

"Nice weather." Freddie commented.

I nodded. "Ooo! That cloud looks like a Pygmy Puff." Something small whizzed by my ear. The Snitch was hovering over Freddie's head.

Our Seeker had spotted it, and was zooming toward us for the catch. Her 'Puff counterpart was as far away as possible, and was looking wildly about in the sky.

"DON'T MOVE WEASLEYS!" O.L.C.S.M. hollered.

"He really is annoying."

I crossed my eyes in response. Fantastic! A Bludger was coming our way. I focused on it, and swung out my bat. Owsies! Never hit one that hard before. The Bludger went charging down the pitch, aimed at one O.L.C.S.M. He seemed to be too distracted watching the Snitch.

There was a loud crunching noise. I flinched, and watched as Gavin Merisque's body went falling.


	3. Chapter 3

Damn. Damn. Damn.

A wonderful way to end a very bad day in the life of Lucy Weasley. My dad is here.

"What were you thinking? No… You weren't thinking."

Shall we recap?

Gryffindor won the match! But just after the Snitch was caught, I knocked Gavin Merisque off his broom. And he fell… Now he's in the hospital wing re-growing most of the bones in his body.

Then I had a wonderful meeting with Professor Longbottom, the Headmaster, and Referee Wood. In summary, I got yelled at, and they kicked me off the team.

At least Stout Boy won't be able to play for the next match. His bones will be back, but just in case.

And on the way back to my dormitory, I ran into Dad.

"He's dating Abby!" I blurted.

Dad stopped pacing back and forth. "What?"

Has he always looked this menacing? "Stout Boy- I mean Gavin Merisque, the one I hit with a Bludger…" Not helping! Get to the point! "He's dating Abby."'

Dad groaned. "So you decided you had to try and kill him? Honestly Lucy, you're as bad as your Uncle George!"

And his point was? "Doesn't Uncle George have twice as much money as you? And is much more well respected in the Wizarding Community?"

His fingers curled around his wand. I took a cautionary step backwards.

"You can't joke your way through life, Lucy. You have to be serious."

I wanted to tell him Uncle George does, but Dad looked like he wanted to attack me with a Bludger, so I didn't. It's called common sense, ladies and gentlemen!

"Yes sir."

He seemed to like being called sir. Dad loosened his grip on his wand.

"I expect you to apologize."

"What?" I yelped. "Apologize? To Stout Boy?"

He turned around to leave, not even looking at me. How rude! "Today."

So far my plan wasn't working very well. Me= off the Quidditch team. Gavin= rather beat up, but still El Capitan. And now I look like some violent off her rocker mad girl!

I galloped to the Hospital Wing to get this apology thing over with. You see, I prefer not to just walk. It's rather boring. So I'm prone to skipping, galloping, moon walking, and other alternatives. I tried rolling to Herbology as a first year once. It rained the day before, so that was not one of my better ideas.

Holy blue. This was not going to be easy. El Capitan was surrounded by people.

"Security! Security!" A particularly idiotic fan boy screamed.

"Shut it James!" I leaned awkwardly against the door, doing my bad-ass Auror pose. Then again, maybe not the best pick of poses. They might think I'm here to kill them all with Bludgers. My arms dropped to my sides. Not literally of course. I mean they did drop, but- nevermind. Shut up brain! "Don't forget I still have those pictures of you running around in a Snitch costume." I raised my eyebrows.

"Last year."

Everyone started howling with laughter. James looked like he wanted to kill me. Get in line.

I bowed. "Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all year, hopefully in one piece. So can you all scamper off or something? I have to talk to Gavin."

"Oooooo!" Boys are so stupid. They all elbowed each other and wiggled their eyebrows.

El Capitan rolled his eyes. "Go."

One of them nearly fell over on his way out. Impressive… Not.

"What do you want?" I sat down on one of the chairs by his bed. As always, he had that stupid knit cap on his head. I must be losing my mind. I could have sworn one of those smiley faces winked at me.

"Well… I felt kind of bad about what happened. Until I got here." I looked down at my feet.

He stared at me. "No you didn't."

I glared at him. Note to self- take glaring lessons from Dad. "Ok… I didn't. But I didn't mean to almost kill you. So sorry about that. Is there anything I can do?"

Gavin sighed. "Would you take notes for me? And tell me what the homework is?"

Unfortunately we have the exact same schedule. "Sure. We won. I'm sure James told you, but we did. And… I got kicked off the team. If that makes you feel any better. Not that you can really feel much of anything right now. Since you have like no bones in your body. But you can still feel, can't you?"

I felt something on my knee. He'd used his good arm, about the only thing with bones, to stick the jiggley one there. "Lucy, shut it."

It was so weird looking. Like a tentacle without… tentacley looking bits on it. Before I could stop myself, I poked his hand. It wiggled like a Jello. Amazing!

"Well, that's too bad. Because you can be a rather good Beater at times."

Was I imagining things again? Did Gavin Merisque just… compliment me?

"Did you just… compliment me?" I asked.

He nodded. Holy blue.

I bit my lip. "Er… Why?"

He looked like he was in pain. I wasn't sure if it was because he was re-growing most of the bones in his body, or from complimenting me. "Like I said, you can be a good Beater. And you seem to feel somewhat bad about this."

"Oh… Well, thanks." Did he just smile at me? "I should go. Getting late. Already in enough trouble."

I picked up his hand with two fingers and dropped it back on the bed for him. "Bye."

"See you later Lucy."

He was kept in the Hospital Wing for the next 3 days. Every day I delivered his notes and assignments. And I actually took regular notes for him. And gave him the correct information.

Did I have a lobotomy? This was a perfect sabotaging opportunity! Freddie was rather disappointed in me. But it wasn't right to mess with a cripple… Or at least that's what I said.

"And in Herbology we had to deal with this… thing only Professor Longbottom could love. It was like a dragon. Only a plant! There were fangs, it breathed fire, and the only good thing about it was that its leaves cure diarrhea!" Oh yeah. I've also taken to staying for a bit of a visit. I'm just telling him all the things he missed out on.

Gavin laughed. He actually has a rather nice laugh. Too bad he's a Stoutphant. And I despise him with the very fiber of my being. It's cotton.

Get it?

Oh how I crack myself up! Like an egg.

Shut up brain! No more lame jokes!

Maybe Gavin would find them funny… NO! BAD BRAIN! VERY BAD! Down girl! Or boy. Is it possible to have a boy brain if you're a girl? What am I talking about? Brains aren't separate individual type being things.

"I get released tomorrow morning." Gavin announced. He could bend the fingers in his formerly funny hand and pick things up with it as well. It was rather disappointing. I loved poking that thing.

"Oh." I nodded. "So do you want me to carry your books?"

Gavin wrinkled his forehead like an old person. He couldn't seem to tell if I was joking or not.

"I'm guessing my lifetime of servitude isn't over yet."

He smiled. That's funny. I've known him for about seven years and I don't think I've seen him do that before. Gavin doesn't smile. He smirks. It's his facial expression of choice.

"Uh huh."

"What?"

The smile widened. It was kind of nice. Happy Stoat Boy. "You don't hate me anymore."

What was he on? I whacked him on the arm. "Shut it! I detest you. Passionately."

Gavin clutched his arm and grimaced. Craparoni!

"Are you…alright?"

Stoatie grinned. "And you call yourself a Beater."

I winced. "Not anymore." The ending of my relationship with that foxy sport they call Quidditch was a rather painful transition.

"Oh… sorry. I forgot." He looked at me apologetically.

"Right. Well then, you'll be at the Ravenclaw-Slytherin match?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"Right. Then I'll see you. Around."

S.B. smiled at me. I backed out of the Hospital Wing, crashing into a bed on my way out.

"Slytherin is going to win." I announced.

Freddie gawked at me, clutching his heart. "You speak treason young lass!"

I crossed my eyes. "Don't be un ananas. The only good thing the 'Claws have going for them is Tony Davies. And he cramped his hand writing an essay or somewhat and is sitting out. They're dragon meat."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"What are you arguing over now?" El Capitan sat down next to me. [Which isn't strange at all. The team always sits together during matches. Freddie gossips worse than Granmum.] His arm brushed against mine on the armrest. I yanked my arm away and sat on it.

"Slimy and greasy toe rags yes, aren't the Slythies a better team than the 'Claws?"

El Capitan nodded. Ha! I stuck my tongue out at Freddie. "She's right. Without Davies the Ravenclaws might as well not even have a team."

Freddie grumbled something to himself about having house pride.

"Gavin!" Oh bugger. I'd almost forgotten about that. My baby sister sat on the other side of him and threw an arm around his shoulder.

I knew the only thing keeping her from calling him some disgusting nickname was all our dad's lessons on feminism. He was hoping we'd become asexual or somewhat and he wouldn't have to worry about our love lives and guard our chastity. Luckily for him I'm destined to be a nun.

"Hey Abby." Gavin gave her a lazy smile. I growled.

Freddie looked around wildly. "Did anyone else just hear a rather small bear?"

Abby shook her head. "It sounded like a Pygmy Puff to me."

… I am disowning her at earliest opportunity, even though I have absolutely no idea why I growled.

Gavin stared at me. I raised my eyebrows. He raised his.

"So what are ya'll doing at Hogsmeade next weekend?" I asked. If Hogwarts offered a class in Small Talk I'd get top grade.

Abby flicked her hair. Has she always done that? My sister is secretly a pony. And she's dating a Stoatphant. "Checking things out with the girls."

Curious… Pony Girl isn't going to that crap girly café with her beau. Or doing anything with him. Dad would be so proud.

Freddie puffed out his chest with pride. He looked like one of those Muggle mermaids on the end of ships. His chest was almost as big. Oh how I crack myself up. "Got a date with Alistair Washburn."

I wrinkled my nose. "Why in the name of Hagrid's oversize pantaloons would you do that?"

He shrugged. "She's hot."

Ew-eth! "She looks like a fish."

"You're thinking of her sister."

"She has a sister?" Holy blue! Revelation nation!

"A twin."

"See! Your children will be destined to look like fish!"

Gavin cleared his throat. "I'm not doing anything."

Tough artichokes… Hang out with my BFF Gavin… or wander around like a friendless loser…

"Want to hang out?" asked yours truly.

He looked shocked. Fred looked shocked. Abby looked shocked.

"Sure."

And that is how I ended up with a date with my baby sister's boyfriend…


	4. Chapter 4

"Talk. Us. Now." Freddie yanked me down a deserted corridor. As predicted, Slytherin won. The 'Claws didn't score once.

"Ug want fire." I mocked his monosyllabic tone.

"Are you going mad? Have you been eating Tante Fleur's cooking?"

I tilted my head to the left. "Eh?"

Freddie crossed his eyes. "You just asked Gavin Merisque on a date!" He yelped. When Freddie gets all wound up like this he gets a bit twitchy. "And he's dating your sister! Which must go against the Weasley Code of Honor!"

"Don't be mad! Dating a Malfoy and wearing two different socks on purpose, yes. But going to Hogsmeade with Gavin Merisque because all my other friends have abandoned me shows up nowhere in the Code!"

"Well…" He stuck out his chin. "It should. And you've just called him a friend." Freddie's eyes bulged. He looks a bit like Little Cousin Al's toad after I accidentally sat on it last Christmas.

"_Stupefy_." I thought to myself. Freddie's body froze. "Sorry 'cuz but you're being a buffoon." I patted him on the shoulder and walked away.

**Fred's POV**

Lucy had clearly lost her Rememberalls. She was fraternizing with the enemy! As her cousin, best friend, and a Weasley it was up to me.

"Abigael Daphne Weasley, I need your help."

My younger cousin spun around. Her shortie friends gazed at me adoringly. I hate to sound like Cousin James, but I am a tad dashing and a half. Thanks for being with the time and creating mixed-race spawn Dad!

"Oh…Hey Fred. What's snapping?"

Ah these youngins' and their slang.

"Bonjour. Allo. Salut. Hasta la vista small friends of Abby!" I dragged her away.

"Can I help you?" asked Abby, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Which, as a male specimen of human beans, I must say is quite prominent.

"Yes, I would like a cheeseburger." I linked up arms with her. "Come, let us talk of many things. Like ships and sausages and lime beans."

"Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Ah! Snappy are we?" I tapped her on the head. "Have you noticed anything peculiar about your charming big sis'?"

Abby began. "Yes! Like asking out my boyfriend! What's up with tha-"

I smacked a hand over her mouth. "Silence young grasshopper. I have a plan."

**Lucy's POV**

It was that time of year. Our second career consultations.

"Good afternoon Lucy." Professor Longbottom greeted me as I entered his office. Acting like he hadn't kicked me off the team. Old loser man.

But we Weasleys are close to Professor Longbottom. You might even call him an honorary Weasley.

"Afternoon Professor. Have you replaced me yet?"

He smiled. Professor Longbottom also has a nice smile. For an elderly member of society that is. "Glad to see you're not bitter about it." Me? Bitter? No! And it certainly wasn't me that wrote "_Prof. Neville Longbottom for a sexy good time!"_on the mirrors in the girls' and boys' bathrooms. "So have you given your future career further thought?"

I nodded excitedly. "You know how my Uncle Harry became Uncle George's business partner after my Uncle Fred died in the war. And you know how Uncle Harry doesn't have the best sense of humor. Me and Fred, my cousin that is not my dead uncle, have decided we want to help Uncle George. We've already got ideas for something called Barmy Boums in a Box. Boum being French for party. Our Tante Fleur taught us that. And Uncle George says that if we do good in two years Uncle Harry will step down and me and Freddie can both be partners." I rambled. "Partners of the business that is. Assuming Freddie still wants anything to do with me."

Professor sighed. "Go talk with the Psychological Healer."

Hadn't been expecting that. I gave him my most dazzling grin. Out of the kindness of my heart and nothing more than that. "Thank you Professor!" I took the slip he handed me and skipped to the Hospital Wing.

I got a bizarre look after opening the door. "Mr. Merisque was already released."

"I'm here to see the Psychological Healer." I announced, dangling my slip.

"Parvati!" You see, the Hospital Wing is run by a pair of sisters. Twins actually. One is Psychological Healer and one does everything else. The school started having a Psychological Healer after that battle took place in Hogwarts since lots of people died, and those that didn't could use a bit of help upstairs.

Psychological Healer Patil came out of her office.

"I'm here for a chat ma'am. Is there a couch or something?"

She snorted. "You've never met with a Psychological Healer before, have you?"

I shook my head. "No. My dad thinks they're nuttier than the people who see them and a waste of Galleons. He says there's nothing that can't be cured by a day of work."

Course Dad himself is quackers.

P.H.P. sighed. She's rather pretty for an elderly. Must be around my Uncle Ron's age. Too bad being the school's Psych Healer is worse than being a nun. "Do you have any idea why you were sent to see me?"

"Is there a chair or something?" One appeared behind me and I sat on it. "I was at my career consultation and I was telling Professor Longbottom about how my cousin Fred is mad at me and he sent me here." I explained.

P.H.P. pulled out a pad of parchment and sat on a chair next to me. The door to her office closed and locked itself. "Who are you?"

Her office was covered in Muggle calendars and magazine pictures. All of shirtless men… Professional feeling lost. I hope she didn't see those messages about Professor Longbottom…

"Lucy Octavia Weasley. 7th year Gryffindor. Former beater. 17, and generally accepted to be insane."

P.H.P. seemed to be writing down every word I said. Remind me to never become a Psychological Healer.

"Noted!" My brain said to me.

I really should give it a name, since we converse so frequently. How about Chester?

"Chester Millicent?" asked my brain.

Fine. My brain is hereby named Chester Millicent. It talks to me in a rather masculine voice. Is that natural?

"Why are you having a row with your cousin?" Right. In a small perverted room with P.H.P.

"He thinks it's wrong that I'm going to Hogsmeade with Stoat-I mean Gavin Merisque."

She looked up from her parchment. "Gavin Merisque? Wasn't he in here recently?"

I nodded.

"Oh right! You're the girlfriend!" P.H.P. exclaimed.

GAAAAAH! "No! He's arrogant and a jerk. And he looks like a stoat. Plus there's that stupid smiley face knit hat he always wears. And he's my sister's boyfriend."

P.H.P. raised her eyebrows. "He didn't look like an arrogant jerk when you two were in here together."

I pouted. "Well he is. Except when he's cool about the whole me almost killing him thing. And being nice about me getting kicked off the team. And then there's the fact that he's hanging out with me at Hogsmeade instead of his girlfriend. Although said girlfriend doesn't seem to have any desire to hang out with him then, even though she's really clingy. And he doesn't seem to care much about her."

P.H.P. smiled. "You two like each other."

I gasped. "Nuh uh! Don't live a lie P.H.P.!" She looked at me curiously. "Psychological Healer Patil."

The door popped open. "You're the one pretending Lucy."

"That's it?" I snapped. Thank you very much! Not. Maybe Dad's right…

Ug! Now I'd have to go to Transfiguration.

P.H.P. nodded like some wise guru instead of the freak deprived P.H. she was. "You can come back once you've stopped lying to yourself." How crap was that line?

Ridiculous! I threw my bag strap over my shoulder and stomped out of the Hospital Wing.

BAM! Said book bag flew off said shoulder and landed on unsaid ground because I'd crashed into said rodent resembling male.

"Damn it Lucy! You are so uncoordinated." He was joking. Unless angry people normally smile and pick up their attacker's bag for them. When he smiled he almost looked like a normal human being.

You'd have thunk someone had Stupefied me. "Ung. Ach. What are you doing here?" Classes were still in session and he was supposed to be in Transfiguration now.

He countered. "What are you doing here?"

"I had-I asked first!" I caught myself.

Gavin snickered to himself. "Professor Troton sent me to give the Headmaster a message. And you?"

I did my bad ass Auror pose. "I had my career consultation."

Captain Stoat arched his eyebrows. "In the Hospital Wing? Do you go to Gringotts for medical help?"

The opposite of funny. "Short Top sent me to the Psych Healer."

"I'll assume that's Lucyan for Professor Longbottom." We were walking side by side now. "It's about time."

"Have you ever been in there?" I shuddered.

If he was Freddie he would have crossed his eyes about now. "I've been going regularly since my mum tried to kill my dad second year." That sly P.H.P.! "Can I ask why you're stalking me?"

It's funny how little I actually know about him. "I am not stalking you. I happen to temporarily enjoy your company and fear that when I leave you will become lonely and depressed." Saint Lucy is my name.

Gavin grinned. My arms felt tingly. Must have walked into a spider's web. "Skiving off. Fantastic."


End file.
